Monday, October 1, 2007

Help!!

In case you can't tell from the title, I need some serious help! Carter is hitting himself! What do I do? He's been getting into things or doing stuff he knows he shouldn't, and when I tell him no or don't or stop, he hits himself! He full on starts slapping himself in the face! Yes, I'll agree, it's kinda funny, . . .okay really funny. . . but still, it has to stop! And no, I do not hit my child. Not even close. Okay, I have lightly slapped his hand a couple of times, but seriously, that's the extent. AHHHH. Do I let him keep hitting himself? Obviously I shouldn't stop telling him no, because I need to be a parent, but man is it hard trying to stop him when all he's going to do is that. We're talking Carter going up and pushing the stereo and tv buttons, me telling him not to do that because he'll break it (yes, I even explain to him, I don't DONT scream at him), and then he looks at me all butt hurt and starts slapping himself. I feel like a horrible parent and it looks like I abuse him because where else would he pick that up? But I don't, so why does he do it???
I do think he is going through this new phase and he is starting to recognize embarrassment. Sometimes if he gets caught doing something and my sister in law tells him no, he tucks his head into his shoulder or the couch, so I know he's starting to exprience new feelings. Is the hitting the only way he knows how to vent those feelings? As you can tell, I've really been trying to think this through. Once we get home (tomorrow. . .YAY) I'm hoping that it will break this new thing he's picked up. Plus once he gets home he won't have to be told no so much, because it's my house and I don't care what he touches because it's all child proof. Plus he'll have a room to go to timeout in. But still. . . I need to get this figured out, so suggestions would be great. Or if your kids have done similar things and have turned out okay that would be great to know too. He really is the sweetest little guy. He loves his baby cousin (2months old) and has never, not even ONCE, come close to hitting him. He's a kissy, huggy, smiley little guy, who loves to share and mingle and dance, so where oh where does this self abuse come from???? Is he trying to get my atttention? I thought I gave him quite a bit. My sister in law suggests that maybe he's been getting too much. really? I love my little guy and it breaks my heart that he does that. Does he know that and is he using me? So many questions. I'm just hoping he hurries and gets over it.

6 comments:

Tiffany Fackrell said...

HMMM, I don't have any advice for you, because of course my darling is only 6 months old!! But I am sure you are not a bad parent for it. Cambree shakes her head at everything, and I never shake my head and say no, so who knows where kids pick things up from. HOpefully it is just a phase and he won't hurt himself. Maybe you could redirect his energy to something else, like giving himself a hug instead of hitting himself. I really have no idea, but we all KNOW you are a wonderful, wonderful mommy! Don't feel guilty or like you aren't good enough, because you ARE!! I love you girl!

Kacey Nielsen said...

I'm in the same boat as Tiffany, what the heck do I know?! But I would probably ignore it as well as you can. Don't give him any extra attention because of it. Kids like to do things that incite a reaction from you.

Or just be grateful! A self-disciplining child. I want one of those :)

Alisha Marlatt said...

I wouldn't stress about it. I know several people whose children do that. I friend of mine, her little girl would start to bang her head on the floor. My sisters little girl would bite herself. I can't remember if they did anything specific, but I'm sure they just patiently would tell them to stop. But don't stress, I think it's pretty normal. Good luck!

Tiffany Fackrell said...

Cass, my sis said that it is normal, she has watched a bunch of kids that use to hit themselves. Just ignore it and don't give him attention for it and he will stop. She said to not worry or stress over it, it is just a silly phase some kids go through! Keep your head up, you are a great mommy!

ashleyboice said...

Yeah...kids sometimes do that. My Oliver did for a short while and it went away. Cali's baby would hit her head on the ground too. I think it is totally normal. now that Oli is 4 he hits his head sometimes when he does something and is embarassed or when he is trying to be silly. Kids are crazy. I told him one night that I love him so much so I don't want him to hit himself. He seemed to understand that...but he was older when I told him. I think the craziest thing about being a mom is we are just young girls trying to figure things out. And it can be really confusing sometimes. He will be just fine. I am sure he will be over it in a couple of weeks (I think you are right...he will be better once he gets home...kids just need their homes sometimes).

Claudia and Glenn Walker said...

Hey I just found your Blog. This is Claudia from Temple:). About your douts, don't worry, it is pretty normal when children behave like that. Nicky did it too when she was about your son's age. We told her not to do it and she would stop but after a while she started doing it again. She finally stoped hitting herself little by little. I was very concerned just like you are. It'll go away. I really think you are an excelent mom who is worry about her child (wich is normal in excelents moms:)) Just keep giving him love and well this is your child you can work on talk to him like I did with Nicky or just let it him do it and eventually it will go away.
Talk to you soon, your blog it's so much fun!
take care
Claudia Walker (from Temple)

The Beus Gang

Bo, Cassidy, and Carter Beus