Monday, November 24, 2008

Was I?

I used to be cool. Or at least I thought I was. Was I though? huh.
I got an email from my cousin with some exciting news, and as I'm looking at the email, I notice an email address. Yeah it was my brother's. I had no idea that was his email. I've been using a way old one and had wondered for A LONG TIME why he never ever responds. I just figured he didn't want to talk or he was too busy. That's usually the answer to the phone calls that never get answered.
So my problem is this: why did my brother not give me his new email? How sad is that!! Seriously. You have no idea how much this upsets me. I'm so out of touch with him and we used to be SO CLOSE!! It breaks my heart.
It makes me wonder how much I'm missing out on things. Not just with my brother, but with everyone else too. I know I've been crazy lately. HELLO, I've had some big things happen to me! I'm guessing I'm just no longer someone worth talking to because I am no longer "cool." I feel like everyone is having these parties and I'm the kid left out.
I get it. Half of my brains went to child rearing. I can't hold very educated conversations anymore. I can't hold conversations because my kids are begging my attention. My vocabulary is shot. My creative brain is gone. Carter hides my phone so I can't call or answer calls.
The sad thing is, I sometimes wonder if some poeple no longer talk to me, or I'm kept out of the loop, because I'm married and have kids and am hence boring. If that's it, that's too bad. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to take, I just pray that that is not it.
That's all. I'm just upset. Sorry to vent on a blog, but I view this as a journal.
*I could be emotional because I'm sick. . .*

10 comments:

Tiffany Fackrell said...

cass, you are still cool!! I called you the other day but no answer, maybe that is because Carter hid your phone! I feel like this sometimes too, and it probably doesn't help that I don't really have any close girl friends here, which brings me to your comment on my blog. Funny that you say that, because lately I have been SO MISSING my BEST FRIENDS! I wish we lived closer too! Hang in there, and I hope you feel better soon. What are you guys doing for Christmas?

Jackie said...

Wait! Was it Golden?

I want to know which brother!

You are cool. This sickness is making you freak out.

Lori said...

Welcome to motherhood....the land of the uncool. Also very uncool your brother has not given you his new email. The good news is you are now COOL in a whole new crowd....

Donnie and Laura said...

I think you're cool Cassidy!! If I had a party here, you'd be like the first person I'd invite!

Mike and Andrea McEntire said...

No way Cass! You ROCK! You know you do. It's every ELSE that's not cool enough for you...

Mike and Andrea McEntire said...

Dang it! I mean everyone else. Now I'm not cool. :)

Jorden said...

So I think you are cool too. I was thinking, if you ever come up this way you should stay and have a sleepover at my house. I have three bedrooms and all have extra beds. Also I have a blog if you haven't seen it yet. I put a link to some of my wedding pictures on it, don't worry there will be more soon, just haven't had the time to do it. Love Ya, Jorden

Jorden said...

I always forget to leave what my blog name is, jordenandjohn.blogspot.com

Serena said...

Uncool? Um, no. I miss ya all the time! As far as trying to hold any conversations w/kiddos around, tell me about it. Mine are bouncing off the walls and I'm like yelling just so the person I'm "talking" to can hear me. Oh boy. Maybe when we're back in Galveston we can throw some uncool parties together. =)

Samantha said...

Cassidy I know EXACTLY how you feel. Moms (I know we are SUPER BLESSED) really sacrifice a lot for their babies! I feel like a super uninteresting old lady. Oh well, when I feel like i have no friends, I turn to one of my most constant companions- dvr.
and trust me, from someone who isn't super cool- I know you are cool.

The Beus Gang

Bo, Cassidy, and Carter Beus