Monday, April 6, 2009

I need a break

I was so impatient for Bo to get home today. I wanted to just get in the car and go somewhere ALONE so bad, I can't even put into words how bad. I am BURNT OUT.
Of course when Bo finally did get home I was feeling so guilty, especially about the idea of leaving him with the kids, that I didn't go anywhere.
I haven't been alone in a LONG time. A long one. A really Really REALLY long time.
When times get like this I often think of the pioneer women. I'm sure they had hard times too, and those poor women didn't even get to fantasize about the idea of getting in a car and going to the store. Nope. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no phone to call friends or car to drive. How did they do it?
Then I think "Gird up your loins" and "endure to the end".
I think my parents have drilled the whole pioneer heritage in me a little too much.


Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Cassidy, I think you need a garden. NO ONE ever follows you to the garden because it means work. Yes, I think that is why the pioneer women had gardens. Until you get a garden...I have empathy for you. Sometimes it just seems so demanding, doesn't it? Hang in there.

Jordon and Terra said...

Oh I'm sorry Cass! In a few weeks you can leave the kids with me and you can go out and do anything you want! And you don't even have to feel guilty because I need the practice anyway! haha

Jenn said...

Ahh, the motherly guilt. Why do we all have that? Next time, just have Baeu draw you a nice warm bubble bath, and let him handle getting the kiddos to bed. Our guys are great, but they don't always read minds. $5 bucks says he'll love the idea of spoiling you.:)

Samantha said...

Cassidy! Whenever I feel guilty about wanting to leave the kids, I just push that thought away. Because in reality, your husband loves you and I'm sure he would've wanted you to have a break. And he'd have loved to give it to you. Also, I love your reference to the pioneers. Now those were tough women. (though although they didn't have cell phones to call friends, they probably just had to walk over to the next wagon to find some great company with other tough women! haha) Remember in Mrs. Kittrel's honor's english class when you told the story of the pioneer woman who healed the oxen? I thought that was so brave and so cool of you.

and I love Jane's comment. I can't wait to have a garden.

Jackie said...

You are cute, and a fabulous mom. Stop beating yourself up.

Whidget said...

I leave my kids all the time!! To go to the gym, the store, etc. Don't feel bad, and STOP BREASTFEEDING!! :-) You will be so much happier!!


Donnie and Laura said...

Cassidy, you are a great mom!! Sometimes you need a break to replenish yourself and or else you will not have anything else to give (at least that's what I've heard).

Aika said...

oh my goodness... I love your blog! I felt the exact same way yesterday. You are too nice though. You make me look bad. Last night, I went in my bed and slept from 6:45 pm till the morning. I let Blaine do everything. I know, I know, I'm so selfish.

The Beus Gang

Bo, Cassidy, and Carter Beus