Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What to do, what to do?

I don't know what to do about Carter and pre-school. The only one I can afford to put him in next year is the one through the school, and that is only because it's supposed to be free. I really want him to be in pre-school. I know he would love it. I think it would be great for him too, because sometimes (ha) he just really does not want to listen to me. I also don't want him to be behind when he goes to Kindergarten (although really, how hard can it be to catch up???).
So the pre-school problem: The one through the school is EVERYDAY from 7:30 to 3!!!!! To me that just seems like way too long for Carter to be at school, especially since it's PRE-SCHOOL and he's only 4!! I mean, I've known for a long time that even for Kindergarten I hope to find only a half day program. Not only is it everyday for that long, but you aren't allowed to pull him out early in the day (it's frowned on), and he only gets so many absences before he's kicked out. Since it's Bo's last year in med school, he's going to have some time off, and I would like to be able to have Carter be home sometimes to play, or to go on trips, or whatever.
He's my baby. He's too young for this. Not to mention that he's still so easily influenced, and I don't want the public education ruining him quite yet. Not ruining, I guess, just changing him. I like him naive and sweet, and malleable. hahaa.
BUT. . . he wants to go to school. He's asked me if he could. I know it would help him learn more then he would from me. It would be nice to get a little break (is that bad?).
What to do, what to do.
What should I do??????
I am going to Washington this summer. I don't know for how long. Bo is doing 2 away rotations. Most likely I will go all of July and August. I just can't handle the thought of being alone without him, so I'll go home. If Carter goes to pre-school, I'll have to be back mid August and have to be alone for 2 weeks without him, which might not seem that big a deal to some, but to me, no thank you. If Carter doesn't go to school, I'll stay in WA for all of August, and might even be able to convince Bo to meet us there and stay a couple weeks in September too. If I can handle it, that is.
So again, What do I do???????? really, please help!


Jackie said...

Joy school?

Stormie said...

That is tough with it being so much time! There really aren't any other affordable options? How sad. I agree that he would like it. It would help him grow and give him something to push and challenge him! I think you'd like it too ;)

And I agree, being alone without your husband is so tough!

Rachel said...

Don't do it Cassidy. Please. He's FOUR. He's got his whole life for school. He's only got a few months left with his mommy, whom he was given to for a reason. At least think about it very, very carefully; and don't let his little four year old wants dictate what you, as the mother, feel is best. Think instead of all that you could offer him if he were with you, and head that direction. Ok, off soap box now and ready for hate mail.

The Boyce's said...

That's a tough one!!! I don't know what I would do...No affordable pre-school for like 2 hours a day?? Man! Maybe you could do a "pre-school" with other moms & take turns teaching??

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

I ditto Aunt Rachel. I mean I ditto, ditto, ditto her opinion. Read "Why Gender Matters" before you make a decision.

I promise, pre-school will not help him in listening to you. There are lots of strategies for improving that at home.

Good luck deciding. I love you.

Tiffany Fackrell said...

ugh, I don't think my comment saved. basically I said it sounds like their are more cons then pros. and he won't be behind in kindergarten if he doesn't do preschool. the teachers can't assume all kids do preschool, so they have to start at the beginning anyway. I wouldn't do it for that long all day everyday, and i doubt he would like it either. good luck!

Heslop Family said...

That is a REALLY long day....but Preschool has been a GOD SEND for us! Sam has grown up soooo much since we put him in. Look into a church preschool. Sam went to First Pres. and I love them!! They were so great. He was able to be social in a Christian setting. He only went 2 day a week though. Kindergarten is all day everyday here which sucks, but if only for the socialization preschool is worth it but I don't know about that long of a day.

maddie jane ellsworth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marcia said...


Oh Cassidy. Aren't decisions fun?:)

I hate to give advice, but you did ask . . . Rachel and Jane know what they're talking about. Not only because they are moms, but because they are educated moms and know the research on this. BIG MISTAKE. Two hours somewhere might be nice. Try the ideas proposed on rotating.

If he isn't listening to you, it's not him, it's how you are relating and reacting to him and school won't cure your association. This can be fixed, but you've got to get a handle on it now. You can use your bubbling personality to your advantage and not to your disadvantage. That is a tremendous strength if used effectively. If you're interested I've got some books and some tips.

P.S. ALL kids want to go to school at Age 4. ALL kids want ice cream every meal as well. This isn't about what is wanted, this is what is about in his best interest.

maddie jane ellsworth said...

I don't think it does anything. besides he is only 4 do you want him to grow up that fast? I wanted to go to preschool myself but now the only thing i remember from half of preschool is the clean up song and the bully's who would push you of the wagon. And looking back it didn't do much for me. I teach my baby brother at home its really fun. and I would hate to have my little brother go. But like my mom said hes got his whole life for school.
good luck on your choice. Maddie

Emily Rasmussen said...

pray. And then do what you feel is right. Remember when you start the school thing to be tuff! At school they try to put the parents at their mercy. BUT remember he is your son and you will determine what his freaking day is! And no teacher or program will boss you around. Seriously say that to yourself. :) And then you tell them that you don't care if it is frowned upon you don't want day care you want preschool and you will take your kid home when it is time to come home! And if they will let you attend that way and just do it! And know you are super mom even if they give you bad looks every time you pick him up early. Pick him up after lunch because I bet in the afternoon they are having "nap" time, watching a show and just playing outside and he can do that at home. If they wont let you do that you can try it out and see how it goes and if he hates it or it is changing him in negative ways pull him out fast! If you guys can get more loans then get more loans and find a really great place and put him in there and if you are paying a lot they will treat you like the boss of the world to keep their cash flow coming. Then you can still protect your little man. Those are my thoughts. Preschool is really important but he needs it to be a good place because you want him to start school on a positive note not a bad one. If you do it at home he can be just fine so pray and then go from there.

Rachel said...

Dearest Cassidy,

I think you have lots of input, but what I've learned from all the decisions I've ever made (and I mean ALL of them)is that you just have to choose and the Lord will let you know if that's a good choice.

If you are looking for options, I give Head Start 5 gazillion stars! I don't know if you qualify for Head Start but it is worth looking into-I know I will when I have kids. I have worked with kids in their programs and I had no idea pre-school could be so productive (a room full of 4-5 year olds??). It's structured, but not painfully structured. I would definitely look into it, and feel free to contact me if you want to know more about my opinion. :)

Good luck!

Rachel said...

The supreme educator called me 'educated'. Awesome! Do you feel like you've been bombarded by stinging red aunts? ho-ho. Actually we remind myself more of the three Graeae in Greek mythology. Either way, TRUST US! And maybe Jackie. Joy school sounds good too. ;)

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

The three red aunts makes me laugh...

Cassidy said...

hahahaaa! I love the red aunts. Very clever. Educated, indeed. :)
Thank goodness for family! Only 2 of the comments were from non-family. Thank goodness for friends too. And if they're both? Even better!
Bo and I have decided against the school's pre-school. We agree with the comments, and really do feel better about this. Those hours and Carter's age were just making us very uncomfortable.
Marcia, Jane, Rachel (both), anyone else, feel free to email me any and all tips and books references.

Cassidy said...

I forgot to add that unfortunately I don't think Joy School will be an option. There just aren't any kids Carters age in our ward, and all the others I know are in a pre-school.
Never fear, we'll figure something out. We've made this year work, when I didn't think I could do it.
And mine and Carter's relationship isn't THAT bad, we just have rough spots everyonce in awhile. He assures me that we are best friends though. And that I'm a pretty princess.
A year of that can't be bad.

Anonymous said...


Samantha said...

Cass! I'm sending my comment too late! But I'm glad you were able to make a decision and even more glad that you feel good about it afterwards. That means it's right.

I don't have strong opinions either way (obviously, since my kids are going to go to a little preschool here and they will only be 3 and 1/2), but the only reason I could do it was because it was twice a week for 2 hours each time. A FULL DAY preschool? Way too long. I don't think I would've been able to do it either.

PLus, now you have more time to play in Moses Lake! And 2 weeks back with no husband. That's my worst nightmare!! Glad the decision is over and you are feeling good.

The Beus Gang

Bo, Cassidy, and Carter Beus