I used to be cool. Or at least I thought I was. Was I though? huh.
I got an email from my cousin with some exciting news, and as I'm looking at the email, I notice an email address. Yeah it was my brother's. I had no idea that was his email. I've been using a way old one and had wondered for A LONG TIME why he never ever responds. I just figured he didn't want to talk or he was too busy. That's usually the answer to the phone calls that never get answered.
So my problem is this: why did my brother not give me his new email? How sad is that!! Seriously. You have no idea how much this upsets me. I'm so out of touch with him and we used to be SO CLOSE!! It breaks my heart.
It makes me wonder how much I'm missing out on things. Not just with my brother, but with everyone else too. I know I've been crazy lately. HELLO, I've had some big things happen to me! I'm guessing I'm just no longer someone worth talking to because I am no longer "cool." I feel like everyone is having these parties and I'm the kid left out.
I get it. Half of my brains went to child rearing. I can't hold very educated conversations anymore. I can't hold conversations because my kids are begging my attention. My vocabulary is shot. My creative brain is gone. Carter hides my phone so I can't call or answer calls.
The sad thing is, I sometimes wonder if some poeple no longer talk to me, or I'm kept out of the loop, because I'm married and have kids and am hence boring. If that's it, that's too bad. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to take, I just pray that that is not it.
That's all. I'm just upset. Sorry to vent on a blog, but I view this as a journal.
*I could be emotional because I'm sick. . .*